Near Death Experience

How badly can you piss off your wife before she kills you? You could do what my dad did. After spending a very eventful day in San Francisco full of fun, laughing, and pictures, my dad unintentionally erased it all, ALL of it. On the ferry ride back to our hotel late that night he found the format function on the digital camera, couldn’t determine if he was on “yes” or “no” and clicked. He ended up clicking “yes,” thus reformatting the memory card and deleted every single photo off the camera. Needless to say that was the most awkward hour I’ve ever spent with my family. I thought my mom was going to combust.

Today, I made a similar decision. I suppose it was bound to happen. I’ve been spending a lot of time cleaning up my electronic clutter. Deleting useless files, programs and documents that are just clutter all over my desktop and scattered through my computer folders. In performing that task that I stumbled across two databases on my web host account. I deleted one I knew was garbage and deleted a second I thought was associated with the first. Well what is it that happens when we assumes? That’s right, we “make an ass out of you and me.” In this case however, I made a double ass out of myself. I deleted the database for this blog, deleting EVERYTHING including Lilly’s entire birth story. When I realized what I did I nearly threw up in my cubicle and immediately messaged Lilly.

After sweating it out and gagging at my desk for 20 minutes for her to finally get the message thinking she’d strangle me through my computer monitor before she responding, she remained calm. She had mercy on her poor husband and let me live! Long enough to write this anyway. She also told me to call our web host company. By the grace of God himself, my hosting company has a free service where they backup your account every single day and recovered my deleted database, and thus this blog. Who knew? Thank you BlueHost! You know not only saved my life today, but let me feel a sense of relief and joy I haven’t felt since my daughter took her first breath. Whew!

One Year Later…

Aliana is now 13 months old, and we can hardly believe it.

We know we’ve been MIA, and I’m kicking myself hard for not documenting the last six months as I should have. We were going through some tough, personal issues (which included having to move as well as an unexpected job loss), and I may or may not have been a little depressed. I am in denial about it, haha.

Anyway, I’ll begin posting again soon. I’ll begin with a quick recap of her milestones and incorporate where she is now as soon as I can.

Lilly

10 Months Old!

Aliana is now 10 months old! I still cannot believe I’m a father to one of God’s children. I’m not sure if it’s encouraging or downright jaw-dropping to think God has given me sole responsibility, along with my wife of course, to care for her; to tell me plain as day He has enough faith in me to turn Aliana into a kind, loving, follower of Christ who will be a great contributing member of the world. It’s been a challenge though for me to share God’s confidence in myself, as I’ve quickly learned I’m an overprotective paranoid father who fears everything from dirt to her own baby poo is going to hurt her. It’s difficult to take a breath sometimes, but Aliana never fails to show me regularly she is a big kid who can handle new experiences. I bet she looks at me thinkging, “take a chill pill dad and watch me figure things out on her own. Support me, don’t stand there in a panic.” Needless to say I’m a work-in-progress.

Aliana on the other hand, is perfect. She’s surpassing any expectations I thought I had about who my daughter would be as a 10-month old. She has a high tolerance to pain, can control all sorts of foods in her mouth, and repeat actions like, “If I bang this it will make noise.” It’s been eye-opening to see the wheels-turning, really watching her learn something she didn’t know just moments before. It’s something new each week with her, I hope it never ends. Until I’m old and senile I hope she’ll continue to call me telling me what new thing she learned that week. Heck, even after I’m senile, she may even have more fun telling me then!

First Family Christmas

I know we have seriously lacked in keeping up with our family blog, but it’s safe to say we have made it to our first Christmas as a family. Aliana turned 7 months last Thursday and is learning more and more each day. Lilly and I are still working our Mon-Fri day jobs and Aliana still attends the same daycare.

Parenting has been an incredible experience thus far. Our precious Aliana is an amazing little girl who always finds new ways to make us smile. She’s a thriving social butterfly who smiles at nearly everyone she meets and is not only a joy to us, but to those around her. She turns heads when we we’re out and about, loves exploring her surroundings and snuggling with mommy and daddy on Saturday mornings. She loves walking and isn’t interested in crawling. She’s learning how to better her motor skills and tries so hard to put EVERYTHING she gets her hands on into her mouth.

I will make a blog post of just Ali pictures soon to catch you all up on the past few months.

As with all families we too have been experiencing the common family struggles with regards to minor injuries, illnesses, finances, neighbors, etc. They’re usually short-lived, are quickly forgotten and easily left in the past.

There are more details and in depth stories to follow, but right now it’s time to get back to eating and Christmas movies.

I Still Can’t Believe We’re Parents

It’s been nearly 4 months since our little Aliana has entered our world and parenthood continues to be everything I never thought it would be (don’t worry, I don’t mean that negatively). It’s incredible how unbeknownst to Ali, she is so deeply reliant on us to care for her, raise her, and turn her into a self-reliant, independent member of society. I tell myself everyday I hope I can do right by her as she grows and develops. I hope I can provide her all the opportunities and tools necessary to allow her to succeed at whatever she does.

As I think about how the responsibilities associated with parenthood, I realize they are far greater than I ever thought they would be, and I’ve been thinking about it since I was 3. Even during Lilly’s pregnancy I still had no real idea what I was getting myself into. I always knew I would do what was necessary and required of me, but it’s been an eye opener. I am beginning to truly understand the daily challenges my parents faced while raising me, and I can’t imagine what it was like for them raising twins (my brothers) along with a 5 year old (me). Lord knows how they put me through 9 years of hockey. I have a newfound respect for them both and continue to seek guidance and parental advice from them.

Those Eyes

As I look into Ali’s eyes, I wish I could remove every challenge and stressful situation she is going to encounter throughout her life. Even now I wish I could prevent every pout and cry she makes when she’s in pain dealing with acid reflux, when she frustrated because mommy and daddy don’t understand her, or when she’s bored and stir-crazy. Knowing full well life has it’s own agenda, I am very aware I cannot remove the trials and tribulations she will face, but I hope she knows daddy would if he could.

Well, I tried…

Need That Pick-Me-Up

Well, I tried to go without coffee today in an attempt to spend one entire day in caffine detox since Ali’s birth, but it turned out to be a failed attempt. I got to the office at 7:10AM, and by 8:00AM I was face-in-palm asleep. At least the effort was there. Right?

I’ve done some research recently on being a first time dad and the realizations and struggles that come our way post birth. The take-away was that no matter how prepared we thought we were as fathers, we weren’t even close. In fact, we showed up to the pier days after the boat set sail. This pretty well describes me, the dad. I was spot on with all the pregnancy stuff (except the preggie pops), but did not even consider what I would do once Ali entered the world, let alone how to take care of her. Now that Ali is 5 1/2 weeks old the shock of parenting has worn off, and the day-to-day exhaustion is now more of a lifestyle. I don’t want to call it a struggle, because being a new parent isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not easy.

Sleep deprivation aside, my most favorite part of each morning, and one of the reasons I feel so blessed, is I get to witness Ali and Lilly snuggled up in bed together under the early morning light for a few minutes before walking out the door. The two of them look so peaceful it pains me to leave but I know with the love they have for each other they are going to be just fine until I come home.

Much Better

29 weeks and 5 days (this mean’s there’s only 10 weeks and 2 days left!!!!)

I’ve been doing much better the last two weeks, especially the last few days.

Andrew has actually made me laugh very hard a couple of times, and that hasn’t happened in a while. We’ve also had some good conversations about preparing for the birth and baby. We’ve had some miscommunications about what our expectations are of each other, and also talked about some things that we need to sacrifice in order to defer to each other a bit more. Andrew has been amazing in taking over the upkeep of our house, but there is still more that I can do so that he’s not doing everything all by himself. We’re certainly working towards being more supportive of each other in the ways the other needs. I think we’ve been trying to do it in the way that we expect in which to be supported, so it’s time to take a step back and do the reverse.

Our friends Laura and Nick welcomed a beautiful little girl, Elise Christine, on Tuesday. I haven’t had the chance to see them just yet, but I am cooking and delivering dinner for them on Wednesday. Congratulations to the Marcheses!

One word never used to describe being pregnant: miserable

Week 26, day 6

Okay, quick topic here. The last few weeks has brought on new aches and pains, particularly, in the ribs. I don’t feel much bigger than I was a month ago, but she’s definitely growing herself. I feel her more and more each day as she grows. She’s quite the little punk too, especially now that she can reach my ribs with her feet. She kicks, she prods, she pushes up against my belly and it feels like she’s a chest burster trying to bust out. She’s made me cry a few times with how much her pushing and shoving has hurt. But, that’s all in adjustment. It’s not so bad now but I’m sure I’ll be listing new pains as she gets a little larger.

What is bad are the mood swings. How one minute I can be absolutely ready to bawl or scream at everyone and the next I’m all ladeedah and laughing. One thing I wasn’t ready for, nor warned about, were the days of absolute misery and utter loneliness.

There are some days where I don’t even want to wake up. And when I get home from work, I just lay on the couch and either whine or cry in complete silence. Being pregnant is hard work! There is so much going on inside your body that just zaps all your energy and leaves you feeling so empty and alone.

I know I shouldn’t complain, God has given me quite a gift here, but one thing I wish is that I was warned there would be bad days when you just want it to be over, just to feel some sort of control over your life again. Knowing this might not have helped me prepare for the actual feeling of it, but at least I would know that I’m not alone. To know that I’m not the only one that has felt this way while pregnant would have been comfort enough.

For now, I don’t really have many people I can really talk to about it (in terms of those who have experienced this). Andrew has been a great supporter throughout all of these ups and downs. I’m sure he’s had whiplash from the sudden (mean) outbursts  and the rebounding laughter two minutes later. But when all I’ve really needed is someone to hold me or rub my head while I try to fall asleep he’s always right there next to me comforting me and trying his best to make me feel better. I think he’s figured out that there really are no words necessary.

A true ally. I am soooo thankful to have such an understanding partner in all of this. I don’t know where I would be at this point if he wasn’t how and who he is.

The Bradley Method – Week 1

Here goes!

It’s official, we’re more than ever on our way to childbirth (naturally)! We had our first class of The Bradley Method this morning and it was pretty awesome. I’m going to keep the details generic so as to protect the privacy of our teacher and classmates, but we’re both very excited about the info we’re going to get. We were actually surprised at how prepared we were for the class. In our own research we’ve gathered a lot of preliminary knowledge that I believe will be a great foundation for further learning in this class. Granted, Lilly has paved the way for all the research and learning, but I’ve been right behind her as the supporting husband. I’m sure Lilly will write about her experience as well (she’s cooking now), but I wanted to put in my own two cents.

The first thing we noticed was that we were the youngest couple there which kind of made us feel like we were the high-schoolers who oopsed and now have a baby on the way, but that’s really not the case and we felt very welcome by the end of the class.

After being married a solid year we both agreed a child was the next step so we started trying. Low and behold, two months later the half-dozen preggo tests Lilly took were ALL positive! I’m confident we’re doing the right thing and look forward to building lasting relationships with some of the other couples in the class. For nearly everyone there this is their first child which makes it really interesting because everyone is basically on the same page.

Continued Baby Prep and Spontaneous Date Night

Seeing as how we have no money at the moment I spent the day taking care of chores/tasks I’ve put off long enough. I’ve slowly been trying to sift through all of our stuff so we can focus solely on Baby when she arrives. Today was filing cabinet day as well as usual household chores. I pulled out all the useless stuff from our filing cabinet and shredded an entire garbage bag full of random documents (bills/receipts/memories of bad financial decisions). I also washed about three days worth of dishes and tossed everything from our freezer straight to the dumpster (came home Friday to the freezer door open and EVERYTHING defrosted… damn cats, I know it was them).

Pretending to help me build a bookcase, but secretly thinking about how him and Dean are going to ruin all the food in the freezer.


Dean acting confused as to why he is in jail. He knows why, oh he knows.

Around 5:00pm Lilly was passing out from shear boredom having spend the day doing laundry, eating, and watching the Jersey Shore (I watched with her. Neither of us are proud of this). Then she suddenly got a huge hankering for some fried mozzarella. Learning from a previous night when I denied her of her food craving, we IMMEDIATELY got dressed and headed over to Carabarra’s for appetizers (swipe credit card). It was a really fun time. We sat at the bar and watched all of our food prepared right in front of us. Realizing it was our first date in quite some time, we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and even ordered dessert (ice cream covered in caramel and roasted cinnamon-sugar pecans). Mmmmm.

I’m glad I was able to make Lilly’s night; however at 9:00pm it has come to an early end. We’re so full it has become bedtime, and yes, we both know it’s a Saturday night!

P.S. Preview of BabyGirl’s bedding is below

BabyGirl's Bedding!