Well, I tried to go without coffee today in an attempt to spend one entire day in caffine detox since Ali’s birth, but it turned out to be a failed attempt. I got to the office at 7:10AM, and by 8:00AM I was face-in-palm asleep. At least the effort was there. Right?
I’ve done some research recently on being a first time dad and the realizations and struggles that come our way post birth. The take-away was that no matter how prepared we thought we were as fathers, we weren’t even close. In fact, we showed up to the pier days after the boat set sail. This pretty well describes me, the dad. I was spot on with all the pregnancy stuff (except the preggie pops), but did not even consider what I would do once Ali entered the world, let alone how to take care of her. Now that Ali is 5 1/2 weeks old the shock of parenting has worn off, and the day-to-day exhaustion is now more of a lifestyle. I don’t want to call it a struggle, because being a new parent isn’t a bad thing, but it’s not easy.
Sleep deprivation aside, my most favorite part of each morning, and one of the reasons I feel so blessed, is I get to witness Ali and Lilly snuggled up in bed together under the early morning light for a few minutes before walking out the door. The two of them look so peaceful it pains me to leave but I know with the love they have for each other they are going to be just fine until I come home.
Aliana stopped by the Doctor’s office for a weigh-in and her second HEP B Shot (totally uncool). The good news is Aliana is now 7lbs 14oz! That’s nearly a 3 pound gain from when she had a visit to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit). The bad news is Aliana had a wicked cry after her shot. I wasn’t able to attend due to work, but Lilly’s sister was with her through the ordeal.
"You best dink again if you plannin' on stickin' me wit dat needle!" - Aliana
Luckily this doctor’s visit didn’t involve a setback. As soon as it was all over Ali jumped on the boob and ate like a Champ!
For anyone wondering where we have been, we’ve been here, at home, wayyy to busy and preoccupied to make a post, lol; but I’m here now to give you a quick update post birth story. Today Aliana is one month old and has definitely made herself known to the world. It’s been quite the month, probably the busiest, most stressful month we’ve ever had, EVER. We been really high, really low, and really freaked out, but wouldn’t change it for anything. The entire experience has been one to remember and we’re trying to document as much as possible so it will hopefully never be forgotten. We’re trying to prevent the… “Wait, she was once a baby? She used to be cute and quiet? When was that?”
We did it. We’re parents. It blows my mind to say that out loud. I cannot feel any more love towards anyone than I do for this child. Trust me, I have cried the tears to prove it, should proof be necessary.
In just one week, Andrew and I feel like we’ve lived a month with Aliana. Our little girl went from being born safely at home to spending three long, extremely stressful days in the NICU at Albany Med. I’m pretty sure this applies to both of us, but I have never, ever, experienced such grief, pain, and concern over anything in my entire life. This being, a little bean, has consumed my life. It’s in her little hands, and I couldn’t be more joyful about it.
I struggled over what to title this entry. Alternate titles considered include “A birth story,” “A home birth,” or my personal favorite “What in God’s name was I thinking?!?!”
This is a story about how Aliana came into our lives. I promise you it will be long (and includes pictures!), so click the link below to continue reading part 1.