Very busy, but a hard week to get through

Okay, so last post I tried to be funny by posting a little poem about my belly button. It helped liven things up a little last week, but today I’m back to being just a little upset and tired.

So last friday, a virus spread throughout the network at work. My place of employment deals with a lot of sensitive information, so we have practically an iron curtain protecting our systems. Many workers are given laptops for travel, and they can use these with their ISPs at home for personal use. For work use, they have to log on to all these systems like Citrix to get into our network. So, what IT thinks happened is that someone brought in a virus from bringing their laptop in and connecting.

They don’t know why the virus targeted the computers it affected, but mine was included. I had my computer confiscated and reimaged yesterday. All my files are physically gone from my machine, but are backed up in storage. My projects have been put on a stand still. I provided them with a list of which local folders I needed to do my everyday jobs, but they’re prioritizing everything and working hard to clear all the high priority folders that the 40-50 employees need to do their work.

This has added a significant amount of stress in my life. Although the IT guy assigned to work my computer was able to return the physical machine and software really quickly, he doesn’t work in our Security department, and can’t tell me when items will begin to be returned. I am working on the most basic computer set up, and not having my graphics available to make my articles and publications is very frustrating. I have to start from scratch. Mind you, it took me a year and a half to build up my portfolio at work, and it’s all gone.

I have been so frustrated, and God forgive me, but today someone pushed a little too hard on my already frazzled nerves, and I sent a very short and somewhat snarky reply to an e-mail from someone who I’m sure was trying to be nice and helpful, but their pointing out a perceived error wasn’t what I needed at that moment. I don’t know if they picked up on the smart reply, but when I got home and thought about it, I regret letting my emotions get the better of me. Like I said, I’m sure they thought they were being helpful, and in all honesty could have just not replied at all.

I am very, very sorry for replying the way I did, and think it’s not a good idea to reply again apologizing tomorrow. That might be weird. And I think my sister would advise me to just let it go….. right M?

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day, and although I might not get anything back tomorrow, I can at least get started on recreating my graphics or look for copies on the shared network drives. I learned my lesson to never save anything locally either, but rather on the shared network drive. The reason why I stopped saving in my personal network drive is because I ran out of space, and I guess I never thought of being able to use the shared drive for personal storage… Well, like I said, lesson learned.

Definitely praying for more patience before I go to bed tonight!

 

Ode to the Button

Your shape was decided in 1987
And 23 years later have received
An unexpected makeover.

Once an innie, now a flattie,
You’ve revealed your true shape within,
Like a lotus chip, your compartments now
Reveal spaces previously unknown in your natural state.

Soon, the flattie will become an outtie,
and you’ll poke through my clothes.
No popper stopper for you (sorry Jeff),
I promise to embrace your changes gracefully,
And allow you to finally see the sun.

ps: the hair you've sprouted grosses me out.

 

One word never used to describe being pregnant: miserable

Week 26, day 6

Okay, quick topic here. The last few weeks has brought on new aches and pains, particularly, in the ribs. I don’t feel much bigger than I was a month ago, but she’s definitely growing herself. I feel her more and more each day as she grows. She’s quite the little punk too, especially now that she can reach my ribs with her feet. She kicks, she prods, she pushes up against my belly and it feels like she’s a chest burster trying to bust out. She’s made me cry a few times with how much her pushing and shoving has hurt. But, that’s all in adjustment. It’s not so bad now but I’m sure I’ll be listing new pains as she gets a little larger.

What is bad are the mood swings. How one minute I can be absolutely ready to bawl or scream at everyone and the next I’m all ladeedah and laughing. One thing I wasn’t ready for, nor warned about, were the days of absolute misery and utter loneliness.

There are some days where I don’t even want to wake up. And when I get home from work, I just lay on the couch and either whine or cry in complete silence. Being pregnant is hard work! There is so much going on inside your body that just zaps all your energy and leaves you feeling so empty and alone.

I know I shouldn’t complain, God has given me quite a gift here, but one thing I wish is that I was warned there would be bad days when you just want it to be over, just to feel some sort of control over your life again. Knowing this might not have helped me prepare for the actual feeling of it, but at least I would know that I’m not alone. To know that I’m not the only one that has felt this way while pregnant would have been comfort enough.

For now, I don’t really have many people I can really talk to about it (in terms of those who have experienced this). Andrew has been a great supporter throughout all of these ups and downs. I’m sure he’s had whiplash from the sudden (mean) outbursts  and the rebounding laughter two minutes later. But when all I’ve really needed is someone to hold me or rub my head while I try to fall asleep he’s always right there next to me comforting me and trying his best to make me feel better. I think he’s figured out that there really are no words necessary.

A true ally. I am soooo thankful to have such an understanding partner in all of this. I don’t know where I would be at this point if he wasn’t how and who he is.

The Bradley Method – Week 1

Here goes!

It’s official, we’re more than ever on our way to childbirth (naturally)! We had our first class of The Bradley Method this morning and it was pretty awesome. I’m going to keep the details generic so as to protect the privacy of our teacher and classmates, but we’re both very excited about the info we’re going to get. We were actually surprised at how prepared we were for the class. In our own research we’ve gathered a lot of preliminary knowledge that I believe will be a great foundation for further learning in this class. Granted, Lilly has paved the way for all the research and learning, but I’ve been right behind her as the supporting husband. I’m sure Lilly will write about her experience as well (she’s cooking now), but I wanted to put in my own two cents.

The first thing we noticed was that we were the youngest couple there which kind of made us feel like we were the high-schoolers who oopsed and now have a baby on the way, but that’s really not the case and we felt very welcome by the end of the class.

After being married a solid year we both agreed a child was the next step so we started trying. Low and behold, two months later the half-dozen preggo tests Lilly took were ALL positive! I’m confident we’re doing the right thing and look forward to building lasting relationships with some of the other couples in the class. For nearly everyone there this is their first child which makes it really interesting because everyone is basically on the same page.

PICTURES! annnd The Bradley Class Starts Tomorrow!

Hey everyone, we’re busy-bee’s as usual but I’m stopping by to show you some pictures. First off we have Ziggy who managed to crawl into the cabinet and stick his tongue out at us.

Get Out!

Next we have Lilly looking for her kitties. She won this awesome nursing cover from designhermomma.com and was looking for a cat to be her “test subject.”

She wasn't having much luck...

Finally, Lilly was able to snatch up a cat for her dry run; however, Dean wasn’t having any other it and wanted OUT immediately!

... and Dean said, "GrrrrrRrRrrrrrRrrrrrr"

P.S. Our Bradley class is starting tomorrow morning, so I’m sure we’ll have a follow up after the class, stay tuned!