Baby’s First Picture!

Yesterday was by far one of the most thrilling days of my life. Up until now this whole pregnancy thing has been no doubt amazing, but still somewhat of a surreal experience. Yes, we were pregnant all right but we hadn’t actually seen anything “baby.” We couldn’t see or hear baby. Was there just one? Or two? Was baby actually even in there at all? Was baby alive? All we knew was that all the preggo tests said we were pregnant as well as the blood-work from the doctors office, that was it. But yesterday…yesterday we saw baby as clear as could be. We saw baby’s heartbeat, HEARD baby’s heartbeat, saw baby’s full shape, baby’s head, all in real time! It was truly as incredible experience. We even saw with the help of a visual graphic the blood flowing through baby’s heart. In one valve and out another. I was speechless and so incredibly happy/excited/stoked!  (If you haven’t noticed I’m referring to baby as baby, not he, not she, not it, not the, just simply… baby.  The nurse who did the ultrasound referred to baby as baby and I thought it very fitting.)  Below is our baby at 6 weeks and 4 days gestation…

I guess you can only get so still of an image on those machines, but when watching it in real time it was much more clear. Clear enough to see the “flutter” of baby’s little heartbeat. I was in total awe. I honestly don’t know what else to write. It’s nearly impossible to put into words what the feeling was like. I don’t know what Lilly felt as she had a probe in her through the entire ordeal, but it’s one of those things you just have to experience for yourself, and know the what was on the screen is an extension of yourself in it’s purest form. That is MY baby in there, not yours, not someone else’s, but mine (and my wife’s of course). OUR baby will look to us for love, attention, guidance, friendship, and trust. It’s overwhelming to think about what lies ahead.

I know it’s still extremely early in the pregnancy and there is always a chance the tables can turn, but this moment, right now, is something so incredible. There is no reason to dwell on what can or can’t happen. This is the first time I’ve truly been able to experience optimism. My wife and mother both will tell you I’ve always been a pain in the ass pessimist. Who knew all it would take was having a baby to start seeing the upside.

The pregnancy continues!

Much to talk about tonight.  Took a few days off but we’re back with some intense updates.  First, had a miscarriage scare.  Second, Lilly threw up for the first time!

Tuesday afternoon/evening Lilly was getting some spotting.  After reading nearly 1/4 of my first baby book I knew this was normal.  We both kind of brushed it off and went to sleep feeling okay about the whole thing.  All of a sudden Wednesday rolls along and by the time Lilly gets to work its a different story, she’s bleeding same as she would if she were having a period complete with full-on cramping.  She called me at work in a panic and before she hung up she was on her way to the OB.  Our formal appointment wasn’t supposed to be for another week but we were freaking out.  She had blood drawn that afternoon.

The next day we got the results.  The doctor said Lilly had to at least have a hormone count of 500.  The results showed 16,000.  Whew, a good sign.  Friday morning she went in for another blood test which resulted in a hormone count of 21,000.  Crisis averted, thank God.  We were so nervous.  We weren’t even sure if we should keep reading the baby books Thursday night.  Not much was said but I know we were both hoping for the best.  We still have our originally scheduled OB visit this coming Tuesday.  Hope the good news remains the same.  Bottom line, we’re definitely pregnant!!!

The next item up for discussion is Lilly’s 23rd Birthday.  She wanted to go to her favorite restaurant called Koto.  It’s just like Benihana’s but it’s here in Albany.  Anyway, she was all excited.  I had arranged for some of our friends to meet us there, and before Lilly got 15 feet from the front door she started gagging, ran away (walked fast), and puked up her recently eaten potato on the side of the building as patrons were walking to and from the restaurant.  In addition to that one of our friends drove by as she was mid-hurl.  After recouping we decided to head to The Olive Garden where the smells were a little more tolerable and ended up having a great night.  Morning/Afternoon/Night sickness is hilarious on my end (pending everything is safe with our baby of course).  I pray our visit to the OB on Tuesday goes as planned.

Staying ahead of the game…

Lilly and I stopped in to a Babies ‘R’ Us today.  It definitely reminded me of when we were wedding planning.  I thought all one needed was like 5 things to make a wedding happen: a pastor, a church, a reception, a dress, and some tuxes.  Little did I know all that a wedding actually involved.  After about 5 minutes in Babies ‘R’ Us I got the same feeling of… “uh oh.”  I say “uh oh,” but what I really mean is “I simply had no idea all that is required.”  I’m really excited about having a child, but I’ve definitely got my work cut out for me over the next couple decades.

Since I’m the financial adviser for the family I spent a lot of time looking at prices.  $300-$400 for a crib, $300 for stroller w/ car seat, $150 for the playpen, $100 for the bassinet, $300 for the crib mattress.  It went on and on.  Truly I have no idea how we’re going to pay for it.  With any luck the baby shower will be close to the amount of wedding gifts we received.  We’re going to invite EVERYONE and hope for the best.

Time to go take a look at this handy guide below and snuggle with my wife and wittle fetus.  Ciao.

TELL EVERYONE!!!

That’s how we feel. Apparently with pregnancy common rule of thumb is to wait to tell people until after your first trimester (I don’t know what that means, but I’m pretty sure it’s about 3 months), just in case you have a miscarriage (God forbid).  That being said, we caved and told those close to us. Lee told her best friends from high school and a few co-workers.  I told my best friend from college and 1 co-worker.  We’re pregnant!  Why worry about the worst that can happen.  For once I’m being an optimist.  We’re celebrating and we want to share the amazing news with those around us. Baby steps I supposed (no pun intended. Har. Har. Har).

I didn’t get much sleep last night as job numero dos kept me away from home until midnightish.  Kinda lame to have to be away from your wife the entire next day from sun up to sun down after finding or she’s preggers.  At least it’s only one day a week.  Regardless we had a quiet evening of good food and the documentary titled “BABIES.” There wasn’t any dialogue but it was an interesting depiction of the very different worlds children are bought up in depending on the luck of the draw.

Time to hit the sack… I can only imagine how tired I’ll be come next June.

Is this really happening?

I had an interesting day at work today, not in the sense that it was eventful, but because I was in a completely different world than those around me. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the road ahead, all the possibilities, both good and bad.  I jammed my headphone in my ears and didn’t answer any of my phone calls.  I texted my mom and told her it felt like I had just gone to a funeral, but instead of sadness I was filled with a calm sense of peace.  She told me I would be numb for a while as I mentally transitioned into the “Papa Bear.” She always considered herself the Mama Bear with me.  I’ve always known she would defend me to the death, God forbid.  I thought I would be scared of the future, but I’m not.  I’m very excited for what the future holds, so many unknowns, and for some reason it feels like a fresh start.

Somewhat of a different topic but somehow my wife has managed to become even more beautiful. There is a glow about her that I didn’t think was possible. She is bearing my child, our child. It’s truly incredible. I can only imagine what the first ultrasound will be like. I have no idea how we are going to manage financially, but right now I’m not really concerned about it.  As far as I’m concerned the Lord will provide, just have to pay attention to the signs.  All that matters now is  Lilly and I have each other, and soon we will has a family. I feel like this is a moment I have subconsciously been dreaming about since my very first days

We’re PREGNANT!

Yes, it’s true!!! Found out the amazing news early this morning!!! In a nutshell….we ate, we smiled, we called our families, we took pictures, we went to church, we cried, we ate again, Lilly peed on a second stick (tested positive), we cried again (well I cried), and Lilly napped, probably due to emotion overload. I never really knew when this day would come or how I would react when the pregnancy test came back positive, but I’m really glad I’m happily married, and totally stoked I got to spend this day with my wife and didn’t get stuck going to work all day.

I believe the funniest response we got today was from my mom…

If I were to truly express how I feel, all I would have to do is read you the lyrics from a song by Creed called “With Arms Wide Open.” I heard this song many many years ago when it first came out and hoped that one day I could experience what Scott Stapp felt when he wrote the song. I don’t care if you don’t like Creed or Scott Stapp, but the words to the song have always had a special place in my heart, and I knew one day there would be an absolute perfect time and place for them. That day is today.